BigAsswipe.Com*… Black Bart’s not so Bright

D.C.Daily

Peeking behind the curtain at BigGovernment, BigJournalism and BigHollywood (all sprung from the same vat of reactionary revisionism that has produced the “new & improved” neo-con stew that’s been stinking up the place, since the early 1980’s**) we find a steaming pile of self aggrandizing horseshit, named Andrew Breitbart.  It seems, at least, according to his brief bio in this week’s Time Magazine, that, after his antics at the chichi Brentwood School, guaranteed his banishment from consideration by the Ivy League, he headed south to Tulane, where he was easily the smartest pledge at his Delta Tau Delta***fraternity house and it was there, on hundreds of drunken nights, that he saw how easily controlled rednecks were and decided to settle down to a life of manipulating those of limited intellect and abundant faith … faith in guns … faith in God … and faith in all the other goodies that make up “good old boy” gumbo… after four years of dedicated partying, Andy headed West …and got schooled by Matt Drudge, of the Drudge Report, and Arianna Huffington (before she lost religion and shed her red robes to become the white queen of the compassionate Left, as patroness of the Huffington Post)…and now he’s the darling of the Tea Party set…introducing Sayrah Palin at the Tea Party National Convention in Nashville… like Limbaugh and Coulter (sheesh, the blood runs cold), he is a hatemonger and a nastily funny guy (yes, I’m pretty sure Coulter is a dude and I don’t include Hannity and O’Reilly in my little group of Fox Hole denizens because neither of them are funny, except in their own minds, and Hannity is just a plain waste of time and then, I also have this crazy recurring dream about Colbert’s beloved Papa Bill****). The terrible thing about all these guys is that they remind me of L. Ron Hubbard’s stoned rap sessions with his pals from the JPL at Cal Tech back in the early days, when he posited that the best way to make really serious bread was to start  your own (admittedly, bullshit) religion and then proceed to fleece the flock. Fox News (and friends) understand the entertainment value of spewing outrageous lies about decent people and then feeding on people’s irrational fears and just like L.Ron and all the Marjoe Gortners of old, they are raking in the dough…and that’s sad, really, really sad.

* BigGovernment.com, BigHollywood.com, Big Journalism.com are all the brain-children of the megalomaniacal Andrew Breitbart (subject of this blog post) and I’m offering him dibs on BigAsswipe.Com which, I think, might make a swell name for a new site (under his “Big” rubric) offering the biographies of both himself and all of his friends at the forefront of the Tea Party, Neo-Con, White Supremacist and many, assorted, domestic, terrorist movements that he seems so anxious to pimp for.

** Irving Kristol, Daniel Bell, Norman Podhoretz, Daniel Patrick Moynihan, Irving Howe are among the unbelievable group of students studying together at the City College of New York during the period from 1930 through the fifties when a number of circumstances, war and depression and the attendant refugee surge combined with the fact that CCNY offered advanced degrees for free…free…? Yes, free graduate curriculum combined with money-strapped minds equals an educational milieu that produced some of the most progressive and interesting thinking of the past 75 years and spawned not only the Neo-Con Philosophy (not to be confused with the mindless, Reagan Era Neo-Con Movement promulgated by the lame children of those truly novel thinkers of CCNY in days gone by) but, much of the most influential progressive and liberal thought…free education..!!! socialist bastards…!!! what is this? France, fer Chrissake…?!!&##??

*** although the Tulane chapter that Breitbart held sway over was obviously nothing to write home about, Delta Tau Delta, is a well-respected national fraternity with a widely (and wildly) varied band of brothers, including: Dick Cheney’s predecessor as CEO of Halliburton, Thomas H. Cruikshank; symbologist/mythologist/writer/lecturer Joseph Campbell (of The Power of Myth fame); Reagan/Bush Press Secretary, Marlin Fitzwater; NFL-Quarterback, John Elway; actor Matthew McConaughey, comedians Will Ferrell and Drew Carey;  New Mexico governor, Bill Richardson and Supreme Court Justice William Brennan.

**** He (Bill O’Reilly) wakes up one day, with a heart-filled-to-breaking with love for his fellow Man, and freaks everyone (including himself) out by experiencing a Huffingtonesque epiphany to become a Great Champion for  the downtrodden and, after apologizing to Senator Al Franken (how wonderful..) and countless others, proceeds to excoriate Karl Rove, Grover Norquist and William“Wrong about just about Everything” Kristol (misbegotten scion of the right wing of the CCNY Gang of New York Intellectuals **) and Rush “Big, Fat Liar” Limbaugh and the rest, from his new pulpit on MSNBC (somewhere, in between Keith O. and Rachel M. and far to the left of Chris Matthews).

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