DumbDumb……me want GumGum…


I have, of late, looked at dozens of clips of tea party goers; and read hundreds of signs, proudly held aloft, at their events; and listened to their litany of grievances as expressed on the local news and…felt the hatred coming off their bodies in waves and been utterly amazed by the slack-jawed vapidity of some of my fellow Americans. Question….is all the stuff  I’ve been seeing, hearing and reading carefully selected by tea party opponents…? I mean, I’m not using a special, bleeding heart browser…just the usual googling…clicking on videos, images and websites, regardless of their apparent partisanship, one way or t’other…and I haven’t come across anyone yet that you would voluntarily splash around in the communal (gene) pool with…or…or (loud sigh) do I mistake myself…and are these stolid citizens representative of the very finest America has to offer..? Are these staunch defenders of the faith really the cream of the genetically modified crop. Hammity, Blechh, Flush and the Fox-Box, all seem to think so…they say that these tea baggers are the salt of the earth and deserve our undying support and gratitude for their fearless assault on the forces of darkness that are currently occupying the White House and a majority of the seats in Congress…This is the kind of thing that could make rational observers feel as if they’re totally losing their minds…the real problem is that this movement has far more in common with the tea party overseen by the Mad Hatter than the one that took place in Boston Harbor…let’s compare them, shall we..? First, the Bash at Griffin’s Wharf, December 16th 1773…it was about rejecting taxation without representation…it was about throwing off the oppressive yoke of a foreign potentate…whereas, the current tea party is about bitching because of financial woes brought about by a bunch of greedy bastards that these self-same idiots voted into office…now, we call a person who sees something that’s white and calls it black, delusional, and that kind of madness is more of the Mad Hatter variety, than the righteous anger expressed by disgruntled Bostonians towards the government of King George. How about a few quotes from the two groups; first, a Whig of yore (Samuel Adams, to be precise): “No people will tamely surrender their Liberties, nor can any be easily subdued, when knowledge is diffused….On the Contrary, when People are universally ignorant… they will sink under their own weight without the Aid of Foreign Invaders”…hmmm, “universally ignorant”..? Try these tasty bon mots from the wig(ged out) followers of the Fox, who proudly raise their “Made in America” placards from coast to coast lately… If You Don’t Understand This Protest, You Must Have Attended Government Schools (I guess that means College of William and Mary, Georgia Tech, UCLA, UC Berkeley, University of Michigan, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, UConn and all the other crappy state-sponsored universities that are…everywhere… you look) or how about; MODERATE REPUBLICANS Follow Specter’s Lead – Don’t Let the Door Hit You on the Way Out (now that one has my complete support); You Cannot Help the Poor by Destroying the Rich (or its hackneyed doppelganger) Don’t Expect to Build Up the Weak by Pulling Down the Strong ..Calvin Coolidge.(well, he’s my personal hero..! [but, fortunately, for every living American today… FDR was not a fan]); God, Guts, and Guns Bought Our Freedom and Is Needed to Keep It (now you’re talking…shades of Dubya’s syntax) and finally; picture an obnoxiously loud, orca-fat, foulmouthed, racist moron, farting and belching as he lowers his brewsky, to facilitate the heroic hoisting of this hand-scrawled beauty…….. I AM SPARTACUS! (‘nuff said.)

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