One Citizen’s Proposal

“SOMETHING TO SHOOT FOR…”     Thomas Jefferson

“WE Hold these truths to be self evident…That all Human Beings are created Equal…That they are endowed…with certain inalienable rights…That among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness…That, to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men and Women, deriving their just powers from the consent of the Governed…That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends…it is the Right of the People to alter or abolish it…!” *

Official U.S. Citizenship Package

(The birthright of every person born, or naturalized, in the U.S.A. **)

CONTENTS:

X Cover Letter***

X  Birth Certificate/Certificate of Naturalization

X  Voter Registration for Federal Elections and Referendums 

Citizens are required to participate in all national balloting

[elections and referendums] upon reaching majority [18th birthday****]

N.B. With the successful completion of each election/referendum’s stringent,

targeted, topical CVICs (CURRICULUM VITAE INTENSIVE COURSES, )

available to all.)  Citizens, demonstrating, by this, their

desire to do so,  may earn the right to participate in the

democratic process (Vote) prior to achieving majority. (Beginning at age 14…)

X   Social Security Number and Card

X   Medicare “Universal Coverage” I.D. (Full coverage includes: pre-natal and childcare to hospice and burial expenses)

X The following educational materials, provided to all Americans, will be available in various media and formats. In order to facilitate an early appreciation of living in a diversely egalitarian society, striving for a sense of unity and with a particular stress on Equal Justice and the Rule of Law; wherever possible, in addition to the standard “adult” version; all materials will be offered as children’s books for age groups 1-2; 3-5; 6-8; 9-12 and young adult [13-18]. Upon request, all versions will also be available in any of 6,909 languages [Ethnologue, 2009])).

  1. Annotated Copies of the Constitution of the United States of America, the Bill of Rights and all additional Amendments to The Constitution…
  2. Brief Rundown of Federal Tax Responsibility and other fixed-costs associated with Citizenship including major federal permits, licenses, etc…
  3. Various forms of counseling and therapy are available to all citizens, at any age (upon request, by citizen/guardian): physical, vocational, educational, marriage, relationship, self-identification, emotional, psychological, etc.
  4. A single page Data Sheet, summarizing additional “Important Things To Know” for each of the Fifty-One [states, as of the ratification of Puerto Rico as the 51st state] States and all the Territories and Protectorates in our Union. Each State will offer digital data bases with in depth discussions of all citizen rights and responsibilities for that state and/or all officially recognized Localities within that state.

 

* liberties taken with paragraph 2 of the Preamble of the Declaration of Independence…rough drafted by Thomas Jefferson, signed by the Continental Congress (56 representatives from the original thirteen American “colonies”…”The United STATES of America” as of this date) July 4th, 1776 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania…

…and altered by me a couple of hours ago….

1) “Human Beings” (although I’m relatively confident that TJ meant “Mankind” when he says “Men” …just to be sure…)    and

3) ditto with Men “and Women

2) removed “by their Creator” ‘cause I’m a Pantheist (god is all..all is love…Namaste) and Jefferson was a Deist  who believed in the “Divine Providence” of “Nature’s God” and not the “supernatural” God of Judeo-Christian tradition (he also insisted on no religious references in the Constitution and lobbied for The Separation of Church and State [a term he coined, by the way]) his references to the divine in the Declaration were poetic paeans to the divine spirituality in the endless majesty he found in the natural beauty of this exquisite land…and with these few words in the Preamble, he expressed his highest aspirations for Equality and Justice in a Secular State…..Thomas Jefferson held that Jesus was the sine qua non among moral teachers (the greatest rabbi…!) and in his own self-edited religious primer, “The Jefferson Bible” he featured the sermons of Jesus,the man [i.e., no resurrection] first and foremost,  “his teachings were the most sublime and benevolent code of morals which have ever been offered to Mankind” along with other excerpted “diamonds” found throughout the Bible. He rejected all the talk of “miracles” and what he called the “dung” of ancient political agendas. In general, his attitude towards Christianity brings [back] to mind the  words of one of my favorite people; author [and proud secular humanist] Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. “… If it weren’t for the message of mercy and pity in Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, I wouldn’t want to be a human being. I would just as soon be a rattlesnake.”   and, also

4) TJ wrote ”inalienable” in his draft and it was his strait-laced pal, John Adams, who changed it to the more staid (and oddly British) ….“unalienable”.

 

** unless excused for reasons of mental health and/or other disqualifications under the law

 

***Text of Cover Letter

[Such and such… day, month and year]

Dear newly-minted American,

You, blurby mcblurbblurb , were born [or, have earned the right to become] a citizen of the United States of America. congratulations…!! and, on behalf of your fellow citizens, I would like to take this opportunity to welcome you here. we hope you will enjoy the many freedoms and (relatively ) few restrictions offered you as a new member of our society. You will have several civic responsibilities, but, nothing too onerous and, while we want you to grow strong and prosper  by virtue of your own talents and abilities, we do want you to understand that we are [all] your “family”  now, and should you experience difficulties on your path, we have, as a nation, established a series of “helping hand” programs to help you on your way….remember, if you need “assistance”, you are not alone..!

So, once again, let me just reiterate how happy we all are (except, maybe, for the “few” curmudgeons among us, but, every family has their share …what are you gonna do..?) to have you with us on your great adventure ahead…!

With best wishes and much affection…

your “uncle” Sam “Boaty” mcBoatface

The President of The United States of America

(serving at you, my fellow citizens’, pleasure..)

The White House

Washington, D.C.

 

**** Citizenship Package given into the safekeeping of each new citizen’s parent[s] or guardian within 24 hours of his/her arrival into the world and/or in the case of naturalized citizens, directly into their possession…either way the Federal Government Dept. of Health and Welfare maintains a digital copy of all the information contained therein (including all updates; changes of address, Bio ID [voice, finger, retinal prints, etc…ONLY REQUIRED if a citizen is found guilty of a felony and/or purchases one of the many legal, but “controlled” substances… schedule 5+ drugs for personal use, classified hi-tech w/permit, non-military, but deadly weaponry, etc…N.B. in the case of citizens convicted of felonies their bio IDs will be stricken from their personal “papers” upon completion of their sentencing requirements and, upon request, for said felony] copies of passports, visas, medical, educational, voting and tax records, etc… all accessible (in the absence of a targeted federal warrant) only by the Citizen, themselves, or a legal representative designated by the Citizen. Too Scary..? Maybe, maybe not…if one prefers to live “off the grid”…it would be a really thin “dossier” and, if you really wanted to eschew society altogether…within our borders, all have access to anonymous health care and various charity portals that would allow you to live “on the periphery” , and, finally, if you really need to get away from the hurly-burly , altogether …there are tens of thousands of caves available (many of them unoccupied [more or less, check for bears and mountain lions]) in more than 400 national parks, or further out, 560 national wildlife refuges [sound like you..?] or, all the way out , in 250 million “protected” acres of various degrees of wilderness owned by “the people”…as a nature dweller (check into various “homesteading” opportunities, if the cave idea is too much)….but, know that under such a circumstance,( ie. total separation from society, living a life of complete self-sufficiency) not voting, not paying taxes, etc… would be a victimless, misdemeanor “transgression” against your fellow citizens and, as such….well…go for it…!  Just know, we’ll be here, if you need us, and so will all your rights (and alas, some obligations) if you decide you miss us…and want to come back)

 

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